Monday, March 31, 2008

More about meme

The Burp Cloth Babe tagged me, and I am not one to turn down an opportunity to procrastinate :)

Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Strange Things about Me:

1- I lived in Spain for three months when I was ten because of my Dad's work. Consequently I understand Spanish perfectly, though I speak it quite imperfectly.

2- I'm one of those strange people who enjoy the smell of gasoline

3- I would love to live in a house with a little bit of land around it, but I am not very comfortable with the flora and fauna that might come with that

4- I have gray hairs; lots of them. Mostly at my temples and behind my ears.

5- I played a small role in a TV documentary on Sacagawea, the directors had a last minute spot to fill and saw me in a pizza place as they were walking by

6- Most people mistake me for being Italian or Native American. I am Mexican-American.

7- I always envied my larger-chested friends until I received my wish post-partum. I do not enjoy having larger boobs, nothing fits.

Now for the tagees: Cinnamon, Soupy, Tara, Meredith, Unkempt Mommy, Kristine, and Pianomomsicle

Friday, March 28, 2008

Me, in alphabetical order

I'm being a copycat and borrowing this idea from Kristine. Here we go, the ABC's of me:

A- My age is 24, soon to be 25 in May
B- I was born in California and have no desire to ever live there again
C- I can cook fairly well, but never really do because BL lives to cook
D- I have two dogs, both are very unintelligent
E- All of my dad's side of the family lives on the East coast, I rarely see them
F- I really don't like the number four, in any context
G- I am terrible about filling the gas tank, it is one of the things my husband loves me most for
H- I am thrilled they are making the last Harry Potter movie a two-parter, more movies for me!
I- I love mint chocolate chip ice cream
J- My first name starts with the letter J
K- Three of my five bridesmaids had names that started with the letter K
L- I love Lord of the Rings, movies and books, yes- I am a nerd
M- My major in school was Marketing
N- I dislike the word nape, it sounds innately dirty to me
O- My ancestors were the founders of Sandusky, Ohio
P- I am afraid to have a girl because of all the princess crap they have out there
Q- I love the word quixotic, but I don't think I have ever really had occasion to use it (until now)
R- I am deathly afraid of raccoons due to a freak encounter when I was a little girl scout
S- I HATE snow
T- The only time I have ever been on a train is when my friend and I used Eurail backpacking through Europe
U- I prefer to have a bedroom upstairs, I don't feel safe sleeping on the first floor of a house
V- We are moving to Vancouver
W- Washington
X- All I've got is xylophone, sorry
Y- I really want to visit New York
Z- I am looking forward to taking MR to the zoo when warmer weather finally arrives

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Super cute

The title is a South Park reference, I promise I don't generally go around calling things super cute (stop laughing BL). My friend Becca, whom we got to catch up with when we last went back home, just sent me some of her photos from that occasion and I had to share. Her little girl is such a cutie pie and it was so sweet seeing her engage MR. But enough with my chit chat, here's the real reason for this post:

Another pair of hands

My mom is flying in tomorrow morning to come and help watch the MR for us while we get down to some serious packing business this weekend. It's going to be a huge help having her here and it really will allow us to be more efficient in our efforts. We are fortunate that my mother is completely enamored with our little guy and has always been willing to come out and lend a hand with him when we have needed it. So with all this help that she will provide us, not to mention the chance at a date night for me and BL, know what the sad thing is? By the time Tuesday rolls around I am going to be so glad to say goodbye to her. Does this make me a bad person? I love my mother, but there is just something about being around her for extended periods of time that makes my eye twitch. Growing up in my family there wasn't a whole lot of communication that went on, whether it was between me and my mother or any other given family member. We just didn't do it. I have tried to be better about this as an adult in the hopes of improving our relationship, but old habits die hard. She has always been there for me when I needed her, she goes above and beyond the call of duty as a grandmother... so what's my problem? I've tried to answer this question many times, and I think it is just something inherent to our relationship. Can it change? I hope so, though I think it will require a lot of work on my part.

At any rate, I am looking forward to being productive this weekend and seeing that POD fill up. We've only got so many more weekends between now and when we hope to get out of here (mid-late April), so we are definitely going to take advantage of the in-house childcare. Mama's just gonna have to suck it up and learn to live with her own mother.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wordless Wednesday- WTF?

11:00 AM this morning

1:00 PM this afternoon

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Scenes from the move

We had a very productive four day weekend (ah the perks of BL working for a Catholic University). We managed to get a whole lot more accomplished than I really thought we would considering everything was down around MR's schedule. The POD was dropped off late last week and we have just been packing as we can and transferring the boxes into the container when they are ready. It's incredibly convenient, kudos to whoever came up with this great idea.

We still have an enormous amount of stuff to sift through and dispose of. I am determined to purge all unnecessary belongings before we move, whether that sends those items to the dump or Goodwill I just don't want to pack along things that will remain packed and stored away in our new location. I feel the need to clean.

It's incredibly gratifying to see our house starting to empty around us. The walls have lost their frames, and the shelves (along with their contents) have been packed away in the POD. All of this means that we are getting closer to getting out of here. Hallelujah.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Bunnies don't lay eggs

It's true, they don't, but as a small child those Cadbury commercials had me believing the contrary for longer than I would like to admit. Don't worry, I will make sure MR is not similarly misled.

Happy Easter to everyone, we here enjoyed our day with some traditional activities and plenty of candy (Reese's why are you so delicious?). We dyed eggs and then made MR "search" for them. He has a little Dino Drop and Roar we hid the eggs in, there are lots of little hidey-holes in that thing, so it worked pretty well. It didn't last long, no big surprise, as each egg quickly met and vicious, crunchy death. We thought he would at least try to put one of the eggs in his mouth but he is in a new stage where he likes to throw things...the eggs were no different. All in all lots of fun for our MR's first Easter, the rest can be said with pictures:

One of the few times in his life he will be able to pull off pastel

Clearly intrigued, but not enough to drop his Mum Mum

Happy, shiny eggs...they never saw it coming

Come out, come out

About to deliver the final blow

In a nutshell

This picture pretty much sums up the dynamic between MR and our cat Li Li (lee-lee). MR loves this cat, and the cat loves him right back. Even back when he was in utero MR got loves when Li Li would cuddle up with my belly. She's pretty much the only animal that shows any feeling, especially affection, towards our little guy. It helps that she is a masochist at heart, she loves to have her tail pulled and she likes being played with rough. Seriously, you could pull this cat around by her whiskers and she would come purring back for more. You can imagine how this works nicely with MR's form of play, he often comes away from loving his friend with a fistful of fur. Two peas in a pod, these two.

Friday, March 21, 2008

It's starting...

Look what showed up on our driveway today:

Now all we have to do is fill it. We started today, sorting through the (huge) pile of boxes/trash in the basement and emptying out some closets that have lain uninvestigated since their contents were first placed in them. We certainly have our work cut out for us, especially since everything has to rotate around MR's schedule and really only one of us can get anything done at any given time. Apparently babies, even almost one-year-old's, aren't such good packing assistants. Whodda thunk?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Let's be honest

In preparing ourselves for this move we have had to make a lot of decisions. There has been a lot of discussion as to what should go and what should stay with us in this transition. One of those items up for debate: the animals. We have two cats and two dogs, all animals that we acquired as individuals before we were married and then merged into our family plus baby. Of course we love our animals, but they certainly are just that now;animals. Not the babies that we used to treat them like, really they are largely ignored now, if not treated as an annoyance. During the day I have the demands of MR to meet, and by the end of the day we are more likely to greet them with a 'shush, don't wake the baby' then a good doggy pat. We continue to go back and forth on this issue. We're responsible for these animals, we made the decision to get them in the first place. But in the end? We aren't very good pet owners when we are so focused on being good parents. Especially being in limbo for as long as we have, and making as many frequent trips back home as we do, they really are leading a rather dull existence. We are hoping that when we finish with this move and are settled in our new house that we will be able to change this. There are a lot of factors that prevent our spending any attention on the animals right now that are tied in to the move and the reasons for it. So hopefully when the dust settles things will get better in that department. If not, well we are going to have to make some tough decisions.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I need a...

Seriously, my hair is looooong. I have always had long hair, and by always I mean at least the last ten years, but it is starting to get out of hand. Through my college years I went for long periods of time between cuts because I had always gone to the same woman for my cut and that woman was back home. I was too chicken, and really indifferent, to bother going out and finding someone new to take care of my hair for me.

It's been at least six months since the last time I had my haircut and I am thinking that not only is it time for a trim, but perhaps a shearing. I love my long hair, it's been good to me and in general it behaves the way I want it to. But, and I know this is a mom answer, I just don't have time for it anymore. My hair is naturally curly/wavy, which means that if I want to wear my hair the way that I prefer (straight) we are looking at like an hour prep time. That's from washing to straightening. Clearly something needs to change.

So I am thinking of cutting some/a lot off. Around the shoulders, maybe even a little above. I am hoping that if I have half the hair it will take half the time to wrangle it into submission. I'm also thinking I will need to find a new stylist to do this, things need shaking up in that department too. We'll see what happens, remember, I'm a chicken.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Erin go bragh

Happy St. Paddy's day everyone, though really this holiday doesn't seem to mean much in my world any more. I am old enough to not have to worry about being pinched for not wearing green, and my lifestyle isn't really conducive to me going out and downing some green pints. So I satisfied my holiday hunger by dressing up MR in green instead. His Nana had already picked him up the outfit, so really minimal effort on my part.

Funny story about one of MR's nicknames. We had THE worst time EVER picking out a name for our little guy. We argued for months over what to call him, we differed quite strongly on what could be considered a unique name and what wandered over the line to damaging/stupid. I will let you imagine which side I thought I landed on. Anyways, around six months pg I told BL that this weekend would be the weekend that we chose a name, I was tired of arguing.

So we returned to all of our compromise names and happened upon the name that graces our child today. One of the selling points, for BL, was that his full name could be shortened to a name also shared with a set of islands off of the Irish coast. Note that this was at a time when both a)BL's family thought they were largely Irish in heritage, and b)I mistakenly claimed the islands were off the Irish coast. Weeel, come to find that his family is only a pinch Irish and more so Scottish and those islands? They are off the Scottish coast, erm, not the Irish. So you see, things all worked out in the end, but BL did not thank me for allowing him to go several months under the mistaken assumption that those isles were Irish. How was I to know he would share that "fact" with so many people.

Here comes trouble

Saturday, March 15, 2008

If I click my heels three times...

So now that we have officially committed ourselves to this move we have got a lot on our plate, and by a lot I mean a whole huge mess of stuff. Aside from the fact that we are going to have to pack and prepare for this move with a now mobile child, we kind of have to figure out where we are moving to. Our little trip back home last weekend was in part to help us start laying the groundwork for some of this stuff. Our ultimate goal is to get ourselves into our own house. That sounds so nice, our own house...

Anyways, we aren't necessarily in the financial position to do that just at the moment, especially since we are moving before BL finds a job. Of course we would have preferred that he did have a job ahead of time, but we have been waiting on that since last fall and as we can all see that hasn't worked. Having to hold down a full time job here and making frequent trips back home to help with his dad's situation has not left a whole lot of free time for job searching. So our hope is that being back home for a few months with nothing but job searching on the agenda will help significantly, i.e. get him a J O B. In his downtime he can be the stay at home parent while I return to the office full-time :(. I have bittersweet feelings about this, but then that is for another post entirely.

As for where we will be moving to in the interim, well it seems we may have two options in that case. Initially we were thinking we would live with my parents for a few months, not ideal but an option that they were open to. Then this last weekend in the midst of discussions with BL's parents they suggested that they might be able to help us get into a house of our own straight off. Of course we would love this and would definitely prefer this to bivouacking at my parents house...there are just still a lot of details to sort out.

Right now we are just in the planning stage, but I am definitely excited. We're finally going home!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Brownie points

Good husband rule #25: Buy your wife flowers, just because, every so often

Holy crap, he's crawling

Like the title? Not the best use of my words, but it's the first thought that came to mind. It's official, MR can now crawl. Over the last month he has become progressively more mobile. He would roll, squirm, and slide his way from place to place. Even before tonight he has made tentative overtures towards crawling, but this evening he officially started to crawl. He went a few feet in one direction, then he sat down and turned to go in another. Then he crawled over to these little nooks we have by the fireplace, pulled himself up and grabbed a controller we keep stored there. It's exciting, but oh noes now I will actually have to be more active about what's laying around. I'm just so proud that my big little man has achieved this milestone, it's no mean feat lugging around his long little body. Not to mention that head.

In other exciting and also moving related news, we ourselves are moving! Finally!! BL gave his month's notice today, which means we will now be trying to get ourselves up and out of here in around that same time period. This will mean lots of work and a very busy month ahead of us, but I am just so thrilled right now that I am willing to accept this for what lies at the end. Going back home. Having a house of our own. Being back with friends and family. This past year we have been in such a stagnant state, constantly wondering when the move would happen and rearranging our life and our plans around it. So I am willing to spend some late night's packing and several weekends stressing, it's all going to be worth it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


For those of you out there who don't speak (or read) Spanish the title is not once, as in a singular occurrence, but once as in own-say the number eleven. Though I suppose that mister will only ever be eleven months old once, so it applies both ways. At any rate, today marks MR's eleventh month and I cannot believe, no really this time I mean it, that he is already this close to being a year old. How did we get here so fast? While down visiting we had an opportunity to see our friend's Josh and Becca's little girl MeeAe who is six and a half months old, as well as Mae's cousin Hiro who is just now two months old. It is amazing to look at their different developmental stages and recall that once MR was that small, and yes we remember when he hit that half year mark and how we were amazed then at the time that had passed up to that point. It really is incredible, and he is going to hop over that year mark before we know it and be moving along just as steadily past it.

We spent part of this day up in the air returning from our trip home. Having spent so many trips up in the air now with this little mister made me recall how much he has changed since the first time we dared to take him on an airplane when he was still a wee bitty bit. I remember how terrified I was of how he might behave, or misbehave, during that short one hour flight. I have to laugh at that now because of his then complete lack of capacity to create mischief, especially compared to the little wiggle worm we had accompanying us today. He still behaved brilliantly as always, but he was much more of a handful than before. He wanted to be up, he wanted to be down, he wanted to hang backwards off of the seat while swinging his firefly toy. In short he wanted to be everywhere. This kid is just bursting with energy and vitality.

So happy eleven months today mister, we love you and can't believe how you have managed to sneakily turn into such a little boy without our even realizing it. Here we come one year.

Me and Mae

First off, yay! we are home. It's a funny kind of feeling, where I am glad that we are back "home" in our house, with our stuff, and MR's familiar environment. Yet this is definitely not home, but then we are getting closer to that. While we were back visiting MR got a chance to meet back up with his little friend MeeAe, Mae for short, whom we haven't seen since November when she was about three months old. Her parents are friends of ours from back in high school, and we have rekindled our friendship in the interest of making baby friends and parental solidarity. Things seem to be going well, which is nice for me.

MR seemed much more impressed with Mae's personality this time around, as she was much more interactive and actually seemed to notice he was present. Having him around another baby did show me that he needs this kind of interaction much more frequently, as he seemed kind of aloof and unsure what to do with Mae at first. He warmed up to her though as the playdate went on.

It was also fun to see Mae at her little six month stage and remember how it was when mister was just turning the corner from vegetable to silly baby. Of course BL made sure to share with her parents my confession of pregnancy amnesia, thanks sweetheart, so now I am sure they envision me full of baby lust while looking at their sweet little girl. I seriously can't take that man anywhere.

Anyways, it was a lot of fun to see MR spend some good one-on-one baby time and I am really excited at the prospect of more playdates to come in the near future.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Objects in chair are smaller than they appear

Oh my gosh, look how big my little baby looks in this chair! His Nana, ever the active consumer, bought him this cute little chair from Pottery Barn and as soon as we plopped him in it he somehow morphed from my baby to a little boy. I stand by the belief that it's miniature size lends him a more grown air, but still. Where did those long legs come from, when did he stop looking like a little bean and more like a little person? I guess he really is getting older.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Tomorrow, tomorrow

I'm really looking forward to our trip home tomorrow. This week has been a trial and half for the three of us with BL's work drama and we all could really use a break. I'm just looking forward to some downtime, uninterrupted showers (thanks Grandma), and catching up with some good friends. And though we have had some much improved weather in these parts, the temperature is sure to be at least ten degrees higher there. It might be premature and presumptuous but I bought MR some sunscreen just in case. Ah, I can hope. Also trips home always include a new hoard of cute clothes waiting at Nana's house for the MR, and I am a sucker for Carter's. Is it sad that I get so excited over new clothes for my boy?...don't answer that. So have a good weekend all, and cross your fingers for us that MR continues his good flight behavior.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Womb envy

Is it just me or is everyone and the next mom over falling pregnant right now? Aside from the blogs I frequent, which seem to be suddenly populated with newly blooming mamas, my personal life is now being invaded with expectant ladies. The latest announcement came from a fairly close friend, and suddenly I find that I am just a teensy bit jealous. Allow me to clarify, I don't want to go for round two just yet, but news of all these babies to be are making me reminisce about my own pregnancy with MR. It's only been just about eleven months, yet it already seems like such a long time ago. Obviously it's been long enough for pregnancy amnesia to settle in as all I can think about were the lovely, sweet aspects of gestating. Not the gagging at the smell of alfredo, the constant nagging heartburn, or the awful symphysis pain of my last few pregnant months. I confided my feelings to BL, who laughed and asked me how I could have possibly forgotten all the aches and pains associated with carrying a baby. He certainly isn't suffering from pregnancy amnesia, I guess my behavior left a lasting effect :).

The first few months after MR was born my greatest fear was of getting pregnant again too soon. I just wanted to be unpregnant for at least as many months that I had been. I passed the nine month mark and felt reassured that at least now I wouldn't get any sidelong glances and behind the hand remarks about Irish twins. Now as we near the one year mark, MR's birthday, I think I am starting to let me guard down even more. I repeat, I am not looking to start up numero dos, but still the idea doesn't seem so frightening any more. Then again, when I start to think of the craziness that is life with just one baby two does sound a little scary. I guess we will just cross that bridge when we get to it.

Let it shine

It's amazing what a little sunshine can do for one's mood. We woke up to a sunnier day today and it feels so good to open up the blinds and let the sunshine in. I can't say that MR has really taken much notice of this change in temperature, he's still in a little bit of a funk though hopefully that too will lighten up soon. It's been getting better, but we are still on pretty high-level cling mode.

I'm hoping that these more frequent sunny days is a signal that winter is in retreat and we will soon be rewarded for our perseverance with a warm and green Spring. I can't wait to be able to spend more time outside with the MR, and to not have to add three extra layers for every trip out the door. Did you know babies don't like to wear hats, even cute dinosaur ones? Knowledge is power.

Here's to a sunny day and a better outlook.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Nice guys should finish first

My husband is a nice guy. I will admit that I am necessarily biased, but really truly he is a rare genuine person. He puts my cynical, less-nice self to shame and I am always amazed by his ability to keep being positive and being able to persist in the face of, well, assholes. Amidst all of the drama involved with my FIL and our attempting to move etcetera he has had to continue working underneath less than pleasant conditions. He's incredible at his job and despite the personal benefits of our having left sooner he insisted upon staying long enough not to leave them in a lurch. His job works around the school year, so May would have been an ideal time to depart.

Enter now the events of today, in which some incredibly malicious and downright deceitful employees who work underneath him filed a list of unfounded grievances against him. These are the people who bring down others in order to self-preserve. There has to be a scapegoat, and apparently my nice-guy husband looks like a good one. If it were me I know that I probably would have done something passive-aggressively vicious in return. Instead it is my sweet understanding husband who is left feeling betrayed and bewildered by this strange turn of events. It just kind of leaves my trust in human decency a little shaken. It always seems that the nice guys get taken advantage of, left to be held accountable.

We are taking this as a sign, and if things go as planned he will be giving his month's notice next week. So in the end this will all push us towards the end we have been trying to achieve, getting us outta here and back to home. Still, I wish the ends could have come by better means.

Over the shoulder baby holder

So I think I want to buy a sling. I've been thinking this because with our upcoming travel, not just this weekend but other weekends sure to come, it would be nice to have something aside from my own two arms to carry him with. We have run the gamut of items for use when traveling with a bebe, a light-weight travel stroller and a front carrying Snugli, so short of packing him in our carry on (frowned upon) I am thinking the next logical option would be a sling. I want to get something simple and easy to use, and nothing with too much material. I really just need something that will be comfortable to carry him on my hip with and not leave me all bundled up as well. So for those of you out there, I hope there are a few, do you have any suggestions for a (reasonably priced) comfortable sling? There are so many options out there that it would be nice to have some feedback from people who have used and loved a particular brand. Keep in mind MR is an *ahem* big boy at 23 pounds, so I need something that works for bigger/older babies. Opinions welcome.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Home again, home again

Over the course of the last (almost) year we have made a lot of trips back to our hometown. Ever since learning of BL's dad's diagnosis we have been doing our best to be the next best thing to actually living in the same city. We are fortunate that we can make such frequent trips, with the help of the inlaws, and it has allowed us to see both of our families a lot more than we probably would have in this first year of MR's life. It also reminds us, oh so poignantly, how much we wish we were already back there permanently. We've been trying to get back there since early fall of last year, when we really were beginning to understand the scope of having a family member with cancer. Getting there just takes a bit of effort, it's an ongoing process.

We get to make another one of our regular roundtrips this upcoming weekend. I'm looking forward to it because we will actually be spending almost four days there instead of our quick weekend two. I can't even begin to explain how not pleasant that kind of turnaround is for MR. Fortunately as he has gotten older and more accustomed to these trips the repercussions have become less severe, but it's still not easy. He has to deal with the flight itself, sleeping in a new environment, being bounced around to see all the faces that want to see him, and his schedule is always bound to be knocked a little off. Thank the sweet gods that he has always been a good traveler *knocks on wood*, lord knows he has been on an airplane enough times now.

So yay for going home and seeing all the faces we miss, but I am sure I will return with bittersweet feelings and the wish that we didn't really have to come back.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

House break

I didn't want to say jail break, because referring to home as jail just doesn't seem right, regardless of how long we have been cooped up in there. Of course we get out for quick trips here and there on a regular basis, but the winter weather doesn't allow for too much dallying between getting in and out of the car. The sun has been slowly making itself more and more present over the last week or so, and today we actually reached what I am sure was a balmy fifty degrees (if that). Regardless, I seized the chance and took MR and myself down to the trail near campus to enjoy the outdoors and what little warmth this precursor to spring might offer. It was pretty enjoyable, and mister really enjoyed seeing the ducks swimming around. I'm really looking forward to warmer weather and maybe a trip to the zoo, MR really seems to love animals. He is very aware of them when they are around. It felt good to get some fresh air too. Cross your fingers for us and hope for no more snow.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Please to explain

How is it that my generally sweet and easygoing child has now somehow transformed into a clingy banshee? This has to be a growth spurt, teething, something that will be over soon. The last three days have been less than pleasant as MR has refused to be put down without pulling his stiff-as-a-board act and crying, had more mood swings than me at nine months, and has just generally been a poo. I love my baby, I do I do I do, but this behavior is starting to grate. He has been through these sort of phases before, with separation anxiety and growing his six present teeth, but still. Fortunately he looks like this, so he gets away with it.

You're lucky you're cute pal

Wah wah WAHM

I work from home. I know this makes me incredibly lucky, having a steady source of income and still being in the home to watch the MR, but lucky does not necessarily translate to easy. I feel bad for ever complaining about the situation, I know that there are plenty of mamas out there who would like to kick me in a soft spot for not glorifying my good fortune all.the.time. But if I am going to be honest here, then that is how I honestly feel. I am so grateful that I have been able to be the care provider for MR all these ten and a half months. I know that this will definitely not be the case with future kiddos, and so I do relish that this time is special unlike any other time to come. It's a lot of work though.

As I said earlier, we have been in and out of this city for the last seven years. We came here for school, and then spent the next few years back and forth between our hometown and this place. We have now been back here for the last year and change, and when we made the move I was able to bring my job with me. Every once and a while I will need to commute back for a few days in the office, but for 99.5% of the time I am here. When MR was born I didn't really think that I would be going back to work. I felt bad, as if my returning to work while taking care of my newborn would be unfair to the company. They wanted me back, and I wanted the money, so indeed I did return after three months leave. It wasn't too challenging at first, but that was also back when MR slept much of the day away. Most of the projects I work on allow for me to set my own schedule, so I found myself doing most of my work at night, after the kiddo was asleep and I had some solid hours to devote to my projects. I continue to do this, but as MR is older now I often wonder if it wouldn't be better for him to be in daycare. I do my best to balance my time for work and my baby, but there are always those horrible days where I am slammed with work and I feel like I am not as present as I should be for MR. I think were we not in such a state of limbo currently I would have put more thought into this, maybe even done it. MR would get some quality time with other little ones and not a distracted mommy bouncing back and forth between her keyboard and his playtime.

So it seems I am now just waiting. We will be moving eventually/hopefully/soon, and that in itself will mean a change in my work setup. I will gradually reintroduce myself back into the office, and with luck MR will be able to spend some of his days with grandma and just a few days in daycare. I am happy with this thought, as I want him to be able to thrive in an environment with other babies. My lack of mommy friends hasn't hindered only me, it means MR has had limited baby-on-baby interaction as well. Who knows, I am sure I will still have plenty of fears and complaints when we do get to that point, the grass is always greener.