Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The other side

Well, we made it. We are still terribly tired and I am still struggling to string two words together and one foot in front of the other. But, we are here. Spokanites no more, Vancouver/Portlanders from now on. It's nice to know that there is no going back, that we have no more ties to the old city. All of our belongings are either in our POD (in storage) or underneath BL's parents house. Or in the room in which we are currently residing, my old room in my parents house. This is not ideal of course, and we hope it will only be for a few months time. It will need to be, for all our sakes.
Tomorrow I go back to work. Of course I have been "back" to work since MR was four months old, but tomorrow I will be going back in to the office, returning to a forty hour work week instead of my thirty, and not seeing my baby all day. It's pretty hard to take right now, I know there will be some nice aspects. Lunch will actually happen everyday. I will have conversations with real live adults. I will wear something other than my yoga pants to work. Right now though all I can think about is how I won't be spending all day playing with my boy, watching him grow, and my quality time will have to be squeezed into two hour packages at the tail-end of each work day. I'm sad. Can you blame me? Look at what I will be missing. This:

And this

Things are better on the family front, better than they were at least. Thanks so much for all of your well wishes, it's nice to come back to the internets and see your kind words. BL's father was only in the hospital for 48 hours and the surgery went well. Unfortunately he already had to resume chemo today, so cross your fingers that we don't have another relapse. Things with BL's grandfather are a little awkward right now, everyone seems to be avoiding the subject. Considering how much else we have on our plate, we have just been playing along with this. *sigh* We are here though, and we are together, so that is something to be thankful for in itself.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Coherence currently not available

Alright, the last 24 hours have been a mess. This is going to come in bullet form because I can barely speak a full sentence, let alone express whole thoughts on the computer.

-We are *this* close to being finished with packing and cleaning up the house. PODS comes tomorrow morning, and then we will spend all tomorrow cleaning up for our walkthrough on Tuesday.

-Our poor MR is freaking out about all the changes going on around here. His room has officially been dismantled and he really seems to have noticed the lack of his usual comforts. He is extra fussy and and quicker to cry. Naps have not been happening really. This simultaneously drives me up the wall and breaks my heart.

-We were at the U-Haul store to pick up a trailer for extra junk we will be taking with us and we got a call from BL's sister. BTW, Grandpa B passed away this morning. Oh, and BL's dad is back in the hospital. Emergency surgery to repair an infection. From the effin chemo. This.never.ends.

-I got nothing else. I'm sore from moving, I am emotionally drained from holding back the tears, and I am in desperate need of sleep and maybe a beer.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Yes, he does bite

I think I have mentioned before that our kiddo growls? Well I finally caught it on camera and tadaa!, here it is for your viewing pleasure. I am determined to get him to use this as the answer to the question of 'What does a dinosaur say?'. This is still a work in progress. Again, please ignore the ever-growing mess that is my moving in progress home AND the mister had just finished his dinner of very green veggies so that is why his face is such an incredible mess. There, disclosures over.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

bdjkbkufb

That's pretty much how I am feeling right now. My legs are so tired of going back and forth to the POD, my arms are weary of lifting, and my mind is a puddle of mush. Mama is tired, and the week is just starting. This is our last full week in this house and we are in the midst of a big push to get things done before the POD people show up next Monday to retrieve our container (hehe, pod people). Combined with MR's newfound zeal for, well, everything I am finding myself dragging by the end of the day. I will be so very very glad when this is all finished. So glad that I will even be willing to overlook the fact that this will mean we are going to then be in the (close) company of my parents for the subsequent two months. That will be infinitely more appealing than chasing a zippy one-year old from one unpacked pile to another.

Blech, alright, that's out. I am very tired, but I am also getting excited knowing just how close this means we are to getting outta here. We've been trying to tackle a room or two a day to meet our deadline, really leaving the kiddo's room for last. This is mostly for utilitary reasons, as his stuff gets used the most, though also the small sentimental reason that I will be sad to dismantle my son's first room. Not a whole lot of thought went into the other rooms of this house, we always knew it would be temporary and there is only so much you can do in a rental when it comes to customization. I did my best to make MR's room his room though, so it's going to be sad to have to take it apart. Sigh.

Like I mentioned, kid is in to everything. And he is even threatening to start walking, he's standing up with any chance he gets and has started cruising at a rapid rumbling pace. He (and we) have become more comfortable with his tumbling ways, I think this stronger sense of security is what has inspired him to try for more. Oh man, the grandparents have no idea what they're in for.

He looks like he should be saying a really cheesy 'Ehh' right here


I can has forward momentum?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Grateful

It seems there has been a lot of sadness in the blogosphere lately. I have been reading a lot of prayer requests for mommies and babies to be, as well as hearing of loss and illness. One of the things that I love the most about the blogging community is the honesty and open hearts I have found through it. It is heartening to read about other mothers, other families, who are going through the same things that I am. Through their stories I can see where our MR has been as well as have the opportunity to see where he might be as the years go by. Though none of the people whose blogs I read are friends of mine in real life, it is hard not to feel for their hurts in the same way I would for any friend I have seen face to face. It all has reminded me to be grateful for this wonderful little family of mine. Life can be hectic, and we do have our own worries to be mindful of, but when it comes down to it we are incredibly lucky. For that I am grateful.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

You likes?

Things needed some freshening up around here, so I figured bring on some spring... and green. I am feeling a little limited by my color choices here in blogger, but I think I managed to match the header well enough. Hope you like it, and hope there is sun where you are. If so, please send some this way.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Freedom interrupted

The kiddo, now being so mobile and all, presented us with the need for some form of containment. Especially since we are moving and there are items laying about that generally are kept away from little hands. And MR is fast now, like baby lightning. So we went out and got ourselves (well really MR) a play yard. Already I love this thing and am wondering why this purchase was not made sooner.

Up to this point I would rely on either his bouncy chair (when he was younger/smaller) and then his walker to keep him somewhat contained if I needed to leave his presence momentarily. Of course the bouncy chair lost it's usability quickly, and the walker never really put a total stop to his mischief-making when I was out of the room. Generally I would come back and find that he had pulled something off of a shelf or knocked something over in my absence. You can see then why this new buy has me so excited.

For his part MR doesn't seem to notice that this device is meant to hinder his wanderings (yet). He did notice that it prevented him from reaching the on/off button on the television, which he attempted to rectify by chewing on the offending gate panel. Other than that he seems to enjoy having his own space where he is generally safe from mommy's 'No, don't touch that's'. And I am glad that now I have somewhere I can place MR and not find him gnawing on the cat's scratching post thirty seconds later (yes, this has happened).

Oh, and as a side note to go with the above picture- the mister understands the word monkey. He has two stuffed monkey dolls (one being pictured), and about a week ago he started responding to the word monkey by going and finding one of the two. This is particularly humorous because BL's dad, MR's Grandpa, tends to use monkey as a curse word. Random, I know, and if I attempted to explain it you still wouldn't get it. So for monkey to be one of the words MR so clearly understands it should be interesting next time he is around Grandpa.

Truthiness

My husband and I had a disagreement last night. A stupid one. So stupid that it's not even what this post is about. There is one little piece of the argument that is still sticking with me though. He wanted me to run an errand, which I was going to do, but first I needed to put on my makeup. This made no sense to him. It was a quick trip, it would take me as long to make the run out as it would to prepare for it. And why bother anyways, I was freshly showered and cleaner looking than himself. In guy speak, this means I was good to go. I can't say this was the first time I had reflected upon the inequity of the pains women take to prepare themselves for public consumption versus that of men. I didn't use to always need makeup to walk out the door, quite often in my college years I would run to the store or the library as bare-faced as when I woke up. Now I can't remember the last time I walked out the door without my foundation applied and mascara on. I even will confess to wearing light makeup to the gym. Did this change because now I'm a mom? Is this my one little way of still feeling decent enough for other people's viewing? It's a small thing, and my regimen is pretty minimal. Foundation, blush, and mascara. But still I don't feel comfortable going outside without it. I know I am not the only woman who feels this way. I also know I am not above looking at another woman out and about make-up free and wonder about her reasoning. Did she not have time? Does she not care? I guess these are the things I worry other people will wonder about me.

This doesn't mean I am going to stop wearing make-up, I wear it for myself and my husband too not just for strangers. It just made me think a little bit more about my reasons. It also guilted me into going to Starbucks this morning without my "face" on. Wanna see?

Needs coffee

This is the face my son sees everyday, because if I am not going out then I am not making up. This is the face that I've been given to live with for these past (almost) twenty five years. And this is the face my barista had to smile at this morning. Not so bad I guess:)

Though the content of this post was inspired by my marital squabble, I must own that the form it took had been lurking in mah brain since I read HBM's (and others) Portraits of Truthiness

Monday, April 14, 2008

And in this corner

We had the one year check-up today, and MR braved it out as best he could. He didn't even notice the first shot, the second one he definitely did. He was also kind enough to take a huge poo right before the doctor came in. I am sure that was pleasant for the next occupants of that room. He's doing well though, still a big healthy man impressing the nurses with his size (and hair). Here are the stats:

Height: 34 (almost three feet tall!)
Weight: 26.5 lbs
Head: 19

I'm a big boy now?

Hello sunshine

The saving grace of this weekend was the weather. There was sun! Outside! It was seventy degrees both days, that's pretty much thirty degrees warmer than it has been up until this last week. The green grass was calling, so MR finally got some outside time. He wasn't too crazy about the grass at first, but once he realized he could eat it he was appeased. It was just so nice to finally get out of the house and feel the warmth of the sun. It's been too long.





Long weekend

This past weekend was a LOT of work. It was all stuff that needed to be done, but now that I am taking a moment to sit down and reflect... I am tired. The mother is back in town helping us out by watching the MR while BL and I have been getting down to the business of moving out. We are planning on officially vacating the premises the last week of April, so we had to take advantage of having some solid time to get work done. This weekend wasn't so much about packing as it was of getting rid of that which would not be packed. Though it's been almost three years since we both graduated college we have still been trailing our collegiate belongings in beat-up boxes since then. A lot of that stuff is gone now, and good riddance. I won't even tell you how many trips to the dump we made, because the amount of waste we contributed is slightly embarrassing. I have no idea how that much stuff managed to hide in the corners of this house, because even now that it's all gone it doesn't seem like we did much. Some lucky Goodwill shoppers will be the recipients of my old clothes that no longer fit and the household goods inherited from roommates past. Those nasty recliners that have been sitting in the basement; gone. The general flotsam of broken cardboard, old dog beds, and other nameless garbage- gone, gone, gone. It's a huge weight lifted, and a very large check off our list.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Uno

There, got the mush out of the way- now for the fun stuff. So I had every intention of making a healthy (read: low sugar) cake for the MR's birthday. We did make a carrot cake, but -erm- it probably wasn't too healthy. BL had his own wants for MR's first birthday cake, so our compromise was a traditional carrot cake, sugary frosting and all. There's carrots in there too, right? Meh, it could have been a mountain of chocolate so I think we did reach a mid-ground of sorts. At any rate MR didn't want to have anything to do with it once he got that first bit past his lips. I have to recall that the word cake means nothing to him, as far as he knows the world's food all tastes like fruit or vegetables. Sure he has a bite of what we eat here and there, but never has he been subjected to the sweetness of frosting. Not really a bad thing, more cake for us.
I can has cake?

He was much happier once released from the cake's presence and we moved on to presents. Considering the whole pile of stuff he had already received from his grandparents we really didn't feel the need to go out and buy the MR a whole other pile. We got him a new little ride-on toy full of bells and whistles and covered with Winnie the Pooh, as well as a few other little toys for the tub and a ball.

He was pretty enthralled by all the new noises his toy made, so I think we did pretty good. Then again he was equally thrilled with the box, so who's to say.


And to top it off, I have a video! I am not so artistically inclined as some I know, so it's nothing too fancy just BL and I singing happy birthday to the MR. Please to excuse the clutter of our kitchen, remember we are moving and there is crap everywhere. It's current state is no reflection upon it's usual cleanliness *cough*, really.


Bittersweet

MR turned one year old today! I don't even know how this happened so quickly, BL keeps saying he wishes it would all slow down and I have to say I agree with him. Considering how quickly this last year went, I am afraid the many to follow will pass with the same velocity. I am so amazed by my big little man and all that he has managed to become in this past year. You know we have to walk down memory lane to commemorate this event. Here we go...

Ah, hello very pregnant self. Here I am waiting for the anesthesiologist to take me away so they could shoot me full of epidural. Several things led up to this moment. We knew the mister was going to be a big boy, our shared genes and my gestational diabetes assured that. With the risk factors hovering around the tail end of my pregnancy we decided to have a c-section. I can't say I was disappointed by this outcome, I was never very attached to how the birth would occur as long as it ended with a healthy baby in my arms. So when my trusted doctor pronounced this as his medical opinion, we went with it. The receptionist went to check the schedule and came back to us with 'How's tomorrow?'. Tomorrow would be April 11th, six days before my anticipated due date. We were shocked, who knew it could be so routine to schedule the arrival of our child. Did we want to be parents tomorrow?

So we got up that next morning, prepared ourselves as much as we could and left for the hospital. Which led to the moment above. Which then led to this moment, at 3:59 p.m.

Look at that squidgy little face, that there is 8lbs 15oz of baby chunk. 21 inches long, for posterity. The next few weeks, really months, that followed were a blur. By the time we managed to catch our breath and feel a little more on the ball he was already growing so fast, and time just flew by. And now I have a one year old, and doesn't he know it. He is every where and into everything. He laughs when his daddy tickles his tummy, and he growls (yes growls) when he wants to be a ham. Which is quite frequent, our little boy is such a goof. He loves to hear us laugh and when he catches us laughing at something he has done, he repeats it. He plays peekaboo and patty cake, and he loves to chase after all his little balls and toys. He's just so big.


Happy One Year bug, we love you

The sweet taste of success

It tastes like carrot cake
*Edited to add: I know, I totally let the cat out of the bag with MR's name here. I could have blurred it out, or I could have just taken a picture of the cake before I put his name on it. The truth is I just lacked the forethought. I will continue to reference him as MR, but for those of you who catch this post, now you know:)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Letting him eat cake

So this Friday is The big day, MR's first birthday. Baby needs a cake, right? BL and I want to make him his own, it would be nice to know what all goes in to the cake that goes in to our kid and it will be fun to make something for our little mister. My question is, what kind of cake to make? The husband would love to make him a big chocolate cake with chocolate, and chocolate, oh- and chocolate. But I read somewhere that chocolate is definitely not the way to go just yet, which follows along with my own opinion anyways. I am thinking something more like a carrot cake, something with apple or banana maybe? I found a good recipe for a sugar-free cream cheese frosting that I will probably use, I just need to figure out what kind of cake I will be topping. Suggestions?

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The trip, now with pictures


See that sad little face up there? That is the reason why this trip has sucked so much. My poor little bug just can't seem to kick this fever. It's here, it's gone. It's up, it's down. He hasn't seemed to experience any other symptoms, except extreme crankiness, so I am still thinking it is teething related.
We're flying home tomorrow morning (early flight, hooray!) and I cannot wait to get to the house and collapse into my own dirty, unmade bed. Then it's back up and two more weeks of packing, preparing, and then finally moving.

I will be fair, this trip back home wasn't totally terrible. It was good to see family, as always, and for MR to reconnect with all of his relatives/babysitters-to-be. He was showered with early birthday gifts, which included enough clothes from his Nana to ensure a new outfit for every day of Spring. If you think I am kidding then you should check your local Carter's outlet, it's probably short in stock because she raided it. Her Carter's sprees are a thing of legend in our family.

He also got some fun new toys that included this little Eebee play mat, which is adorable and so much fun to watch MR play with. It can be used flat as a play mat, but it was more fun to build little structures for him to crawl in and out of. Okay, so yes, in reflection this trip was definitely not a total loss. MR is not the only cranky member of our family at present, I just need to remember that it's just a few more weeks. Then no more trips home, no more sleeping on the in-laws couch, just being home.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

So...very...tired

Yet I am still sitting in front of the computer typing. You'd think I would know when to call it quits, right? We're still back visiting at home staying at the in-laws and the trip thus far has been pretty trying. The flight went really well, MR was a sweet, smiling man and fell asleep for the last leg of the flight. We got in and got to the house no problem. Then we noticed he was feeling a little warm, which led to us realizing he had a mild fever, which has left us with a very unhappy and pretty irritable little guy for the last twenty-four hours or so. And when baby isn't happy, well you all know how it goes. This is the first time MR has really had a temperature so it is generally just alarming and worrisome for me. We are fairly confident it is just related to his cutting two more teeth on his bottom row, but still I just feel so bad for the little guy. His temp hasn't gone above 100.6, so nothing too concerning. He's just been so manic, one second he is happy the next he is clinging and screeching. He had his worst sleep night ever last night, I think he was up every couple of hours (if not less) and at times he was just inconsolable. So today was met with two very exhausted parents and one cranky kiddo. If I knew it would help I would pack us up and head back to our neck of the woods right now, but the flight would only add to our issues. So we are here for the next day and a half and hoping for the best. The one consolation is that I have gotten some pretty cute pictures here and there between the crazy-baby spells. Oh, and the TON of clothes MR's nana got him for his birthday. I'll take my wins where I can get them.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Going going, back back

Home. Again. For good reason though, it's BL's dad's birthday and they all could use a lift in spirits as things in cancerland have been hovering on the low end again. He is still cancer-free, no worries there, but he has had some recurring pockets of infection that just won't seem to stay away. Strangely the worst thing about the cancer has not been those rebel cells themselves, but the side affects from the treatments. Every time he goes through a round of chemo it rips his body up a little bit more, and following any sort of procedure it seems he ends up spending an extra week in the hospital. Blech. Anyways, I did not intend for this to turn into a cancer-rant post. We fly out tomorrow morning-ish and will be returning on Monday morning. Just a quick trip to sing Happy Birthday and share the MR love. They haven't seen him since he started crawling, so they are in for some fun. And by fun I mean MR is going to totally raid all the nic-nacs that his Nana has peppered throughout their entire house. Should be interesting.


Oh, and btw, I did survive our visit from the mother. It wasn't that bad and she was a HUGE help in taking care of the MR whilst we got some serious packing done. We still have lots left, but another dent was made.


On the road again...