Friday, May 2, 2008

I've lost my AH

Since I am officially back to working in an office (and not my recliner) I suppose that means I am no longer a WAHM, work at home mom. Now I guess I am just a WM, which really just looks sad. Pretty much sums up how I feel about it too. The first two days back to work weren't bad in themselves, I got to have a nice welcome-back lunch and it was nice seeing all the faces that I have been communicating with solely via e-mail all these months. But still, it sucked. A lot. I have been so spoiled getting to make my money and have my baby too, not getting both has left me feeling pretty glum. I had a full-out bawl fest on the hubby last night and I have just generally been feeling out of sorts about it. I range from feeling like an idiot for crying over something so trivial (things could always be worse) to just wanting to crumple up and feel sorry for my sad, sad self. It's like being post-partum all over again.

It doesn't help that things are pretty rough for us in general. The settling in process has not been easy, mostly because we are so definitely not settled. We highly underestimated just how uncomfortable living in someone else's house would be. It is not that my parents aren't accommodating, in fact they have been doing their very best to make room for us and assure we are comfortable. Nevertheless, we are still in a very foreign space for MR where there are no real baby safe spaces and just not a whole lot of space in general. My parents have been living a long time without babies and have filled their house up with all of the comforts that middle-aged yuppiness can provide. This unfortunately just doesn't translate very well for our needs. MR needs room to roam safely, we need a place to recede from my parents company at the end of the day, we all just need more room. And poor BL is feeling terribly awkward being the one staying home with MR in his inlaw's house. My dad works from home and my lazy 23 year old brother still lives at home (oh yes, that's right), so BL is constantly trying to shuttle himself in and out of the small available spaces and make due with the company of two males completely ignorant of the napping needs of a one year old. There is no more eloquent way to sum it up other than it sucks. We've made it to the weekend though. I am thrilled to get to spend some solid time with my little man and hopefully we can rally as a family and get ourselves back on track.

Oh, and a side note- I probably won't be posting quite as frequently as in the past. Seeing as I will be sitting in front of a computer all through the workday yet unable to spend that time (guiltily) blogging I won't have as much opportunity to get on here. So in anticipation of this, sorry if it goes a few days in between posts and/or if I don't comment as often as I used to. Things they are a changin'.


Pregnantly Plump said...

I'm sorry you guys are having a rough go of it. I'm sure it is really uncomfortable, and adjusting to a completely new lifestyle in a new place isn't easy. Even if it's going back to work in a familiar place with familiar people. Hopefully you'll find a place soon.

kristine said...

I can honestly say, I know how you feel. I have been there. We had to stay with my mom for a couple of months while Graycen was starting to crawl. It is so hard living with your parents, well - anyone for that matter, when you have a young child like that.
Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the living situation!! I am sure it's stressful for you guys. Hang in there--everything will work out :)