Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bittersweet

Today is my last day as a mother of one. One could (very strongly) argue that my huge pregnant belly already constitutes my status as a mother of two. But what I really mean here is that today is my last day with one child on the outside. Just one little man to keep track of, Mason never strays far from my rib cage so it's just not the same.

I am excited to meet this second son of ours tomorrow. I have been waiting for this moment for almost forty weeks, the wait seems even longer since I knew we were expecting before a pee stick would tell me so. I also cannot wait to be done with this pregnancy deal. I am bloated, I am achy, I literally must have about 4 inches left between my stomach and the back of my throat because it feels like nothing every really goes down but just sits and burns there. Nice. So you see, I am ready. I am also scared though, of what this will mean for son number one and everything that I have become so attached to in the past two years of his life. Surely I know that everything will be twice as wonderful in the end, but right now all I can focus on is that today is my last day of singular devotion to this guy:


So today is bittersweet. I have been spending all day trying to think of ways to take in all his oneness so that tomorrow when our load doubles I can feel a little bit better about springing a sibling on him. A little brother will bring lots of good things for Skyler, a chance to share and opportunities to bond. A little playmate with whom to gang up on mom with, and another male to share fart jokes with. I will look forward to these too, if I love this one little boy so much I can hardly fathom how wide my heart will have to open for two. So here's to today, my final of solo childness, and to what tomorrow brings.

5 comments:

Jamie said...

I totally understand... it is definitely bittersweet to think of bringing another little one (or two...) home.

Good luck tomorrow. I can't wait to hear how it all goes and see pictures of Mason. :)

jessica @pianomomsicle said...

Hey!
it has been FOREVER since i've logged onto google reader.
i am so glad i saw yours.
Good good luck with the new little man!
i recall towards the end of my second pregnancy i'd take David to this donut shop every Friday morning. i don't know why. It happened like 4 or 5 times.
i remember plain as day the last time he and i went out for donuts, just the two of us, and i still get a little choked up.
i wish you the best night's sleep ever, and i'll be thinking of you tomorrow! can't wait to see him!

Kristi said...

I remember thinking exactly the same things as I neared the end of my pregnancy with the twins...except I never got that "last day to reflect" since the twins arrived via emergency C-section.

It's Friday, and I'm guessing Mason is already here, so CONGRATULATIONS. Skyler will become an incredible big brother, and your heart will open wide as the mother of two. I can't wait to see photos!

kristine said...

I'm sure you remember me going through this before Parker was born. it's definitely natural to feel this way. I'm sure your last day as a family of three went wonderfully and I hope Mason's birthday has been beautiful for you already. I've been thinking of you lately.
Skylar will be ok, you'll all be ok. It does take some adjusting and you will get used to it - just give it time. I promise it works.

Since I'm here - Congratulations on the birth of baby Mason and the expansion of your family of three to four! What a fantastic Father's Day present for daddy!

Pregnantly Plump said...

I understand how you feel completely. I am sure it will be an adjustment, but a happy one for him. Hope you have a great day today and that tomorrow is even better.